A quiet, gentle spirit of submission is pleasing to God. This is a hard one for me. Abused as a child, and as an adult in an alcohol ridden marriage, I ended up distrustful and afraid of men. For the first 15 years of my marriage I was submissive, to the point of completely losing any sense of where my husband started and I began. It did not equate to a happy home. The marriage ended in divorce 24 years later. Now I am in a good relationship with a caring loving man who I am totally safe with, both physically and emotionally. I would not have thought this existed. I find myself receptive to letting him lead. How freeing it is to let someone else, with your best interest at heart, lead. What a wonderful way to live. My husband thinks that I am sometimes too submissive. To me it is a matter of heart, I no longer have to protect myself, someone is near who cares. As a child of nine until this day, the only one that I totally trust is God, period. Until this marriage no man was allowed near that had the power to hurt me. It worked well in building walls of defense. It took being completely vulnerable, after the loss of my only son, to let God place someone in my life who actually cared for me. There is big difference in loving someone and obsession. I am so understanding of children or women trapped in relationships of abuse. Lord, help me to understand how to help them and still keep your precepts in the situation. God does not approve of abuse, in any form, but in His infinite wisdom He made man the head of the family to create order. Thank goodness we need only be submissive to our own husband. I want to be a doer, not only a hearer, of God's word. Lord, help me to understand your ways.
3 Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear. 3 Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel— 4 rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.
7 Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.
8 Finally, all of you be of one mind, having compassion for one another; love as brothers, be tenderhearted, be courteous; 9 not returning evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary blessing, knowing that you were called to this, that you may inherit a blessing.
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